04.24.15

"Take a picture of me, Mom! Quick, before I fall!" What is it in little boys that tells them to seek out danger? Seek it out. Conquer it. Carry on. I love having adventurous boys, I really do. They offer new perspectives on things I've only ever looked at one way. They are bright and refreshing, and at times (like say, out on a walk around town) extremely frustrating, because they want to stop and look at everything, and point to everything, and ask questions about literally everything. But I have to remind myself that their curiosity is a beautiful thing, something I mustn't stamp out of them. Something I hope they keep their entire lives. And unless I'm in a hurry to get somewhere (which is almost never) I need to just give them a little bit of space and time to do things their own interesting way. And learn from them when I can.

Yesterday evening, my therapy session was a little different than usual. We spent most of the session doing a guided meditation exercise. I was hesitant at first, skeptical, critical of myself and my abilities, but it didn't take long to get the hang of it. It was actually unbelievably cleansing. It involved closing my eyes, visualizing a path through a forest, and each of my thoughts as they approached. Then addressing them, thanking them for their input and value, and asking them to please take a step back, while also letting them know that I would come back to them another time. It was unreal, it was like full-body-tingles cry-laughing good and I absolutely have to make time to do it every single day, I just have to. The way I felt when I was finished, the relaxation that washed over me, the warmth and peace and stillness was the greatest feeling, almost a high. It lingered throughout the evening, but doesn't last forever, which is why I see the importance of meditating every single day. And how it absolutely needs to be a part of my life now.

This morning Oliver and I potted his parsley plant he picked out last night, and planted some seeds for our summer garden, the ones that need to get their start indoors. He is the most excited about the pumpkins, which he calls jack-o-lanterns just as often. We planted tomatoes, bell peppers, spaghetti squash, and pumpkins, and only a few of each. I've actually never done a garden before so I'm excited to learn as I go, remember what I did wrong and what I got right along the way, and see if anything comes of it. I'm not looking to grow any sort of giant harvest, or award winning produce or anything like that. Just something to focus my energy on, with some kind of end result I can see and feel. And taste, if I'm lucky.