4.01.2015
04.01.15
Matt and I had a serious discussion last night about my inability to be transparent with others. I think I have a very serious problem with trust, and an extreme fear of rejection. He told me he thought I should share my blog with the world. I mean, I know anyone could just stumble across it if they wanted, but for some reason I'm still so afraid of making it "public" to the people that I know. Not that I have anything particularly sensitive on here. Maybe I think nobody will be all that interested anyway? What's the worst that could happen? Maybe another day...
Every morning when Oliver gets up he insists that all of his "friends" come along with him to the breakfast table, and usually my arms are full with them. Then they get carefully assembled on the table, and all sit side-by-side watching him while he eats, his own little breakfast audience.
Yesterday afternoon we went over to our friends house next door and played in the back yard for a bit. Theodore + mud = a bad idea. There was a moment when we didn't know where he'd gone to, and discovered him out back behind their house, deep in the mud, sitting and softly weeping in defeat - something I have never ever seen him do. He was stuck in clay mud. We sent their daughter out in her rubber boots to retrieve him and then she got stuck. Then Alyssa herself went out in her rubber boots and... of course... she also got stuck. They all came back, boots abandoned in the trenches, covered in mud. It was this OCD mama's worst nightmare and if I had been sent out to rescue him - which I would have done if I had to - it would have been horrifying. But everybody made it out, and I'm hoping the boots made it out alive at some point too. That kid, I tell ya.
I've been brainstorming some new ideas for my photography business but have been trying to work up the nerve to put them into action. For some reason business endeavors have been causing me a lot of unwelcome stress and anxiety and I'm trying to get a handle on it. The ideas are there, but it's the execution part that's the problem. So, we'll have to wait and see on that one.
If it doesn't rain, perhaps we'll try again for that walk today.
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