08.26.15

As I recover from what feels like the worst cold of my life, or possibly a massive allergic attack proving yet again that I am fatally incompatible with the world I was born into, I'm trying to keep my spirits up with the hope of the coming season. Cooler weather brings with it the promise of new beginnings and fresh starts. I've put together a list of the things I'd like to do this fall, one of which is picking up the ol' crochet hooks again, and I'm trying to stay positive. Fall brings a mixed bag of emotions, as it always has. I'm reminded of being a kid, anxiously anticipating the coming school year, excited for new notebooks and unused pencils, terrified of the social interaction awaiting me. Would my new class have any of my friends in it? Would my friends still like me after my long, introverted summer away from them? It's hard to shake those same feelings, though I'm long finished with my school days. This is the time of year I spent endless hours preparing for our November wedding, going for long walks with a boy I so desperately wanted to kiss me, waiting anxiously for that boy to come home for the weekend from his long week away at university that I nearly didn't survive. So much joy and anticipation rest on those yellow leaves and crisp winds, along with the familiar uncertainty of new adventures which threatens snow before you're quite ready for it. I like it, though. It's scary and wonderful, and I like it very much.

Oliver's favourite food right now is crepes, which is what he's helping me prepare in the above photo. It's no surprise that they're his favourite, as they are essentially a dessert food made acceptable to eat as a meal by containing eggs. He's growing more and more independent by the day, needing to do every little thing by himself without a smidgeon of help. It's nice in a lot of ways and hard in a lot of ways too. There will come a day when he doesn't want my help with anything and that will be my proudest and most tearful day of all time. This life seems ripe with bittersweet moments that must be stretched and made to last, savoured and fully experienced. It's hard to feel the good things without feeling the bad, so we must feel it all exactly how it is meant to be felt and allow it to change us for the better each day, without fear.