It's a holiday today, and I'm so so grateful for it. I needed it desperately. A long, slow, easy day with Matt at home with me, to just sit around and enjoy each other and our kids. Oliver helped me make some healthy brownies this afternoon, and I asked Matt to try and snap a few photos. As a photographer, I find I'm not often in photographs, and there needs to be some evidence of my existence too, in this world. I've trained Matt in the basics of using my camera, and he's a willing assistant. We're waiting for the brownies to be finished baking at the current moment, but the house smells amazing and chocolatey and warm.
Our family trip to the dentist yesterday went as well as it could have possibly gone, under the circumstances. Oliver was an absolute champion through the entire thing. Theodore was the terror we knew he would be, but my own cleaning wasn't all that bad. Unfortunately, though, it looks like Oliver inherited my tooth genes and not his daddy's, which means even with twice-a-day brushing and flossing, his teeth just want to have cavities in them. We know this because the decay almost can't even be detected from the outside, and could only really be seen on the x-rays. Which Oliver sat perfectly still for. Seriously. Champion. We'll have to be referred to a specialist to see what to do next. Sorry, Oliver. Blame your grandpa.
Since making my blog more public, I have gotten nothing but support and encouragement. To everyone who have sent me loving words, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sometimes I feel like I have a factory setting in my soul that prevents me from accepting positivity and love from others, even when it's given freely. But know that what you have said has affected me, and shaken me to my core. Perhaps my walls will come down one day. Some days it feels frightfully close.
Matt's therapy session yesterday went very well, by his account. He said he spent most of the time talking about our relationship, and his life. I think we'll start doing sessions every other week. Not that we don't desperately need them, but the drive in to the city isn't especially affordable. I think with a little bit more awareness in our day-to-day actions and decisions we should be alright. We've got some new reading material, and we're going to try and be more intentional with the time we spend together. So many tiny changes and tweaks here and there that will eventually add up to one big, perfect transformation. Each day will continue to be better than the last, or least offer something new to be learned. That's all I can really ask.
No comments:
Post a Comment