Talk about the understatement of the century.
When someone we know loses someone they love, it's impossible to say the right thing. Nobody says the right thing. Everyone just says whatever they can, because quite frankly there is no right thing.
Today friends of mine experienced a tremendous loss. The kind of loss we all hope we never have to experience in our lives. The kind of loss most of us will never experience in our lives.
They said goodbye to their little boy.
And there are no words.
I tearfully read the announcement on Facebook this afternoon, and scrolled through the well-meaning comments and sweet, gentle words. People are so kind and so caring, and are reaching out the best way they know how. It's so touching to see how much support these two are receiving.
But I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to repeat the same words that were written there already, I didn't want to offer a bible verse or a word of comfort. I didn't know what I wanted to say, because it just wasn't about me. All I could think about was how the way they must be feeling is so beyond anything I've ever remotely experienced, and anything I might say wouldn't mean much in the end. Five or six words typed in a comment box on Facebook. It just didn't feel like enough.
His name is Deklyn, and he was born with Hypophosphatasia.
I'm sharing this photo of him, since it's the only one I know for sure they don't mind having shared (it was spread all over Facebook in an effort to rally prayer warriors.)
He's 14 months old, and a fighter to his very core. To learn more about him, visit his mama's blog Deklyn's Journey. Maybe offer a kind word, let her know you support her and her husband in this difficult time. It's incredible what that can mean to someone in troubled times like these.
I only got to meet him one time, and never really got to truly get to know him and his amazing personality, but from what his parents have said, he is nothing short of amazing.
And this morning his incredible journey continued in a different path, that didn't include tubes or machines, blood tests or hospital rooms. No, today he embarked on the most exciting part of his journey yet, but sadly his parents couldn't accompany him.
So in an effort to process this myself, as well as reach out the only way I know how, I've decided to do a blog post dedicated to what I like to call "The Deklyn Effect." In which in an unbelievably short time, one small person can change the world forever.
These are just a few ways how Deklyn changed the world, from where I sit.
1. United a community.
I don't know if I've ever seen a community rally around a family the way I saw my town and my church rally around this one. Heaven probably received tens of thousands of prayers containing this little guy's name. And continues to, I'm sure. Many who never bother to pray got down on their knees and pleaded for God's wisdom over this beautiful soul. And through this mutual hope, this massive chorus of prayer, a community was united in a mutual agreement that if there was fighting to be done, we would be on the front lines. Standing behind this family, this little boy who needed us more than ever. We linked arms and became one, and will forever be stronger because of it.2. Generated love out of thin air.
As mothers of the Facebook world followed Deklyn's story through his incredible mama, we all clutched our little ones a little tighter. With each passing day, we took an extra minute to appreciate what it sounds like when our sons scream rebelliously, what it feels like when they wriggle out of our grasp, what it looks like when they scribble with crayon on the walls. We typed statuses containing complaints of our mothering difficulties, and then proceeded to erase them and replace them with words of gratitude for the immense blessings in our lives. I know I will forever love my children that much more, knowing everything I have to be grateful for. And I know I'm not the only one.3. Tested and proved the strength of a mother.
I can't even begin to imagine the kind of strength Deklyn's mother has. I can't even pretend to know what it's like to watch your child struggle and suffer just to experience the same things other children his age get to experience every day. Basic things. Like breathing. Smiling. And through his trials, his mother was his number one soldier, and his father his mother's soldier. She spent countless hours by his side, when she could have just abandoned him. Many would say that sometimes he wouldn't have known the difference - but she knew better. She stood by him, prayed over him, shared his story and gathered prayer warriors every way she could. She lived away from her home in a foreign and lonely place for 14 months so she could support her son, so she could channel love and strength to him, so she could make absolutely sure he would never have to be lonely for a minute of his life. And by watching her strength, her unfaltering courage, we have all witnessed what a mother can really do if she really, truly loves her child. And she has inspired those around her to demonstrate the same. She is a hero to mothers everywhere, and through her Deklyn has created an army of strong and supportive mothers the world over. And those mothers will raise strong, independent, secure children for generations to come.4. Helped countless children.
This one just comes down to science. Deklyn was involved in a study for an experimental medication to help develop his bones, and help him grow. And since he was stubborn enough to stick around for so long, the medical world got to learn more than they ever have about Hypophosphatasia. And because of this new knowledge, they will better know how to help other children born the same way. They will make advancements they never thought possible. Thanks to Deklyn they are one step closer to truly "curing" this thing once and for all - a step they otherwise may not have ever gotten to take. And countless children will be freed from experiencing the same trials, from carrying the same burden that Deklyn has already carried for them.What an incredible gift!5. Demonstrated joy in the face of fear.
The smiles in his photos are absolute proof of this. Though it was difficult to communicate through sounds, Deklyn definitely communicated. An expressive face you can't help but love, and the most beautiful million dollar smile. There are even videos where you can clearly see he's trying to chuckle from joy. Wow. Though his life was nothing like what a 1-year-old's life ought to be, he continued to smile, and give and receive love. For a situation where it looks like there isn't a single reason to smile, there was chubby little Deklyn, grinning right between those big beautiful cheeks. Inspiring anyone facing trials of their own to do the same. To remember that joy can be found even in the bleakest of circumstances. That we must always praise God in the storm.6. Strengthened faith, and proved that miracles do happen.
We watched as Deklyn overcame unbeatable odds day after day, proving without a doubt that miracles happen. A child who, according to medical professionals, should never have made it past a day stuck around for no less than 435 days. That's 435 unquestionable miracles. Count 'em. Thanks to his family's and his community's unfaltering faith. He experienced love, hope, joy, warmth, his mother's gentle touch, thanks to the power of God pulling him through day after day. Gifts that some never get to experience. A real living breathing miracle before our very eyes. It's hard to remember that his life until now has been a miracle, especially in the face of grief. But we must also remember that his life will continue to be a miracle in the ways he's impacted the world around him forever.As you can see, in his short 14 months he did things that some of us will never do. He accomplished things that many of us aspire to, many of us only dream of doing. Deklyn is truly a light shining in the darkness, a beacon of hope and a symbol of love that we'll always remember with warmth.
His parents are incredible parents, and my heart goes out to them the only way it knows how, and I will continue to keep them in my prayers because this is an extremely grown up experience for such a young family to overcome. Those two I'm sure have done a lifetime's worth of growing up in only 14 months, and that can't be easy on anyone. I hold them so fondly in my heart right now, because they only deserve great and wonderful things in this life.
And I know they're going to get it.
So thank you, Deklyn, for your incredible effect on the world.
It is forever changed because of your beautiful, smiling face.
It's easy to see that you are so so loved.
And will always be.
This is wonderful and amazing Holly, and so so true. The Deklyn Effect.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful tribute.
ReplyDeleteThis is exquisite and should be shared far and wide. The Deklyn Effect, indeed. :) - Deb Mohr
ReplyDelete